


Do you think about me ? (When things get harder)

by velvetkhj



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: A lot of sky talk and beauty things, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Roommates, Slow Burn, a ... lot, fast pacing, he also does what he wants, hongjoong is smart and says what he wants, i do not regret anything, might be a part of multiple one-shots idk yet, most of the characters are only mentioned, seonghwa is a pining baby and he’s panicking a lot, so look out for other releases of fics like these, staring at hongjoong is also a thing he does, they ain’t dating yet guys ;), yeosang is only in a flashback sorry guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:28:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27111965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetkhj/pseuds/velvetkhj
Summary: Park Seonghwa does not like a lot of things.He only likes walks during the sunset, the beautiful sky during the dawn and how it blends with the morning hue, and animals.And he’s absolutely mesmerized by his roommate and best friend, Kim Hongjoong.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 6
Kudos: 116





	Do you think about me ? (When things get harder)

**Author's Note:**

> sup guys !! welcome to this small one-shot !! i basically wrote this entire thing in a few hours, im dead and now i have cavities bc of how sweet this whole thing is. im dead. i hope you enjoy this tiny monster of a fic, and maybe i will make a series out of this who knows :0 
> 
> —max (come at me on Twitter uwu @shyehyung)

Seonghwa sits beside Hongjoong with quiet steps, watching him as he attempts to do his homework while the television of their dorm room plays in the background. 

He looks incredibly focused already, lips pursed and tongue darting out of his mouth. 

He can’t help but stare at the pretty man, lashes fluttering nervously as his heart rate goes faster as he keeps watching him. 

He wonders.

He wonders about a lot of things. 

He wonders if he’ll make a good singer.

And if he’s going to pay his bills on time after paying his way into this month’s semester. 

He wonders as well if his friends will stay in contact with him and Hongjoong after they graduate college. 

He wonders if Hongjoong can  _ see _ him. 

He wonders if Hongjoong knows. 

Seonghwa wonders if Hongjoong knows about the love he holds for him. 

_ Probably.  _

Yeosang called him a lovesick fool the moment they met—Yeosang is a dance major along with Yunho and Wooyoung, who he met in literature during his first year, and let’s say he’s… _ observant _ and  _ intuitive _ . 

It had Seonghwa sputtering and choking on his drink in the cafeteria once Hongjoong left to empty his plate, with Yeosang looking at him like he made an amazing discovery. 

_ “I do not have a crush on him,”  _ Seonghwa told him, or told himself—no one knows the answer, not even the black haired man. 

Yeosang just squinted his eyes at him, clearly not convinced of his reply. 

_ “You look like a lovesick fool, trying for him to notice you with all your might. You even try to make him smile all the time with stupid shit. And the way you look at him, as if he were the only one present in the room, that’s more than just a crush.”  _

That had Seonghwa by the heart, as if it was torn from the crevice of his own chest. 

For a while, he couldn’t sleep. Because thoughts of pretty, gorgeous and  _ beautiful _ Hongjoong turned into his head like scenes from a film—

He was smitten. 

But, how could he  _ not _ ?

Hongjoong was perfect to him, always ready to help others when they needed it, always smiling to cheer others up and glowing like the  _ fucking sun— _ his clear passion for music production, his way of writing lyrics that just pierces him through his soul. 

He was an inspiration. 

And he was so radiant. 

Seonghwa clears his throat, blinking out the tears that gathered at the corners of his eyes. 

“You should eat something, Hongjoong.” He tries, tone raspy and unused. 

The said boy just shrugs, eyes still glued to his papers. He twirls his pencil in his hand, clearly distracted by his homework. 

Seonghwa smirks and snatches it from the white haired man, relishing at the whining that comes afterwards, telling him to give it back. 

Of course, he doesn’t. 

Hongjoong keeps whining at him to let him have his pencil to finish at least one line of his essay, and finally relents. 

He gives it back, earning an unhappy pout from the other boy. 

“I hate you.” 

“No, you don’t.”

“We might as well see about that.” 

✩

Seonghwa places the two cups of ramen on their kitchen table, grabbing chopsticks on the way and putting them just besides the two bowls. 

“We should—We should go grocery shopping. It’s our fifth cup of ramen each. We need to  _ stop _ .” Hongjoong deadpans, staring at their meal and dragging the chair out from underneath the table. 

They sit gently on their respective seats and dig in without a protest. 

Seonghwa hums in delight at the taste of the warm noodles, discarding his chopsticks as he munches on the food. 

“It might be cheap to buy, but  _ fuck _ if it doesn’t taste good.” 

Hongjoong groans and agrees with him, but his original statement still stands, Seonghwa can see the distaste and boredom in his eyes. 

As Seonghwa picks his chopsticks again, he hums under his breath, an idea sparking inside his brain. 

“Hey, we didn’t hang out together in a while—we should do something this weekend.” 

At that, Hongjoong stops nibbling on his noodles, his slightly smaller hands coming to a stop. He swallows the food. 

“Sure…What’s the occasion? You never ask things like that—What’s up with you?” 

Seonghwa almost sputters, cheeks reddening—he blames it on the steam the bowl produces. 

“Well, the semester is almost over and we didn’t see each other in weeks outside of this dorm. It’s driving me  _ crazy _ .” 

Hongjoong laughs softly, sweater paw shooting up to cover his pink mouth. 

“Aw, did you miss me?” 

_ I always will.  _

He doesn’t answer. 

He continues to eat wordlessly, and shrugs his shoulders as he does, answering Hongjoong’s teasing question a little late. 

Another pout makes its way on Hongjoong’s face, and Seonghwa wants to kiss it away gently. 

“You’re mean,” the white haired boy says, a false feeling of hurt showing on his pretty face. 

That manages to draw a laugh out of Seonghwa’s throat. 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“ _ Exactly _ .”

Then, they silently stare at each other, smiles slowly appearing on their faces.

When they are done with their dinner, they empty the table and put the dishes in the sink to wash them later in the evening. 

They’re both too  _ lazy _ to do it right now anyways. 

As they sit on their couch in the living room, a consistent ring resonates in the dorm room, making them both jump. 

Hongjoong slips a hand in the pocket of his sweatpants and picks up his phone in hand. 

His wonderful smile drops slowly as he reads what’s on the screen. 

“Fuck,” he says after a few seconds, launching his phone on the couch—the device bouncing to the floor in a clatter. 

Hongjoong puts his head in his hands with a shaky sigh. 

Seonghwa hovers over him, wondering how he could help him—even if he doesn’t know what got him  _ this _ distressed. 

“Bud, you okay?” 

Hongjoong shakes his head, breathing through his nose. 

“I was supposed to have a lift to college tomorrow to catch my exam in time—but they just canceled on me. I have no way to go there now, my car is  _ still _ getting fixed.” 

Seonghwa feels so much for him, because he went through that in his first year—and it’s a  _ bitch _ . 

Luckily, his car is working just fine. 

“I can take you tomorrow, if you want. I’m free the whole morning.”

Hongjoong raises his head, turning towards his dorm mate with an uncertain look on his face. “Are you…sure? I know you like to sleep in when you don’t have any schedule in the morning.”

Seonghwa doesn’t say it, but he would do anything to please Hongjoong, in any shape or form—

Because he loves him. 

“It’s fine, it’s your dream on the line, you need to pass your exam, my own comfort can wait.” Seonghwa assured him softly, putting a hand on his arm. 

Hongjoong sighs, leaning back on the cushions of the couch covered in warm colored tissue. 

“Thanks. I owe you.”

Seonghwa just smiles and brushes it away. 

Their attention was drawn back to the television—where a rom-com was playing with low volume, but just high enough to decipher what the actors were saying. 

The promise made that night remained in Seonghwa’s heart during the whole course of the evening, including when he went to sleep with a smile on his face. And Hongjoong’s name falling from his lips as soon as his head hit his pillow. 

✩

The slow ringing of his phone gently woke him up, making him groan softly as he sat up in his warm bed—his light yellow sheets lighting up the melanin of his skin. 

Seonghwa extends his arm and checks the time on his cellphone, smiling in relief when he watches as the clock strikes to 07:00AM. 

He has just enough time to drive Hongjoong and then go back to bed later. 

Yawning softly, Seonghwa gets out of bed and walks out of his room, adjusting the bottom of his pajamas with his barely-focused hands. 

Sleepiness was still clouding his brain. And his motor reflexes are not working properly this morning. 

Seonghwa then bumps into the door frame separating the bedrooms and the combined kitchen/living room, letting out a colorful sweat under his breath as he scratches his hair. 

There’s an airy laugh reaching the boy’s ears, and it makes his heart go into an astonishing frenzy. 

Hongjoong is already dressed in a white and blue cardigan, with dark pants hidden underneath the large cardigan that basically swallows his petite body whole. 

He looks…perfect. 

Hongjoong has a cup of steaming coffee in his hand, with another lined in the sink. 

He presents him the mug and Seonghwa grabs it with a relieved  _ thank you  _ falling out of his lips. 

“Sleep well?” The smaller boy asks as he turns around to turn the coffee maker off with a barely audible click. 

Seonghwa takes a sip and nearly burns his tongue. He coughs. 

“Slept like a baby. How about you?” 

Then, the other’s whole behavior changes. His expression becomes sheepish and his cheeks are red with something akin to… _ embarrassment _ ?

“I studied past bedtime,  _ again _ .”

Seonghwa sighs, turning to the younger with a raised eyebrow, “You need to stop  _ ruining _ your health. You need some rest, Hongjoong. You’re the smartest man I’ve ever known—you don’t need some last minute studies. You are going to  _ ace _ it.” 

Hongjoong looks him in the eyes, not exactly convinced. What can Seonghwa say—He’s an  _ extremely stubborn _ man. 

“Easier said than done.” 

Seonghwa wants to pinch him, so he does. 

Hongjoong slinks away from him in a squeak, a smile grazing his lips as he turns to Seonghwa to blow him a raspberry. 

Seonghwa just chuckles and sips his coffee in peace. 

They take their time taking their breakfast, and slowly start packing—well, mostly Hongjoong, since he’s the one going to college for the morning and afternoon before Seonghwa today—and the beautiful dawn of the eight o’clock hour morphs into a calm morning by the time they reach Seonghwa’s car on foot. 

The latter smiles knowingly when he catches the other man staring at the bright skies lined up in different types of blue, white and pink—his eyes shining in delight. 

Hongjoong  _ loves _ to watch the sky. 

And maybe Seonghwa will give him the entirety of the sky they live under. 

Hongjoong has an eye for gorgeous things, and his tiny hobby of taking out his camera to immortalize beautiful moments like these makes him appreciate the world more. He and Seonghwa got to observe the stars and an Aurora Borealis a few months ago—and the elder remembers very well that the photograph that came out with specs of green, yellow and blue is still hanging on his bedroom wall. Hongjoong can recognize the beauty of a waterfall, making Seonghwa stare at it for hours without growing bored of it, because he’s good at explaining how art mixed with life  _ works _ . 

But Seonghwa enjoyed staring at Hongjoong more, there was something so enthralling and brilliant about him—he  _ couldn’t _ look away. 

As they reach Seonghwa’s car, his fingers touching the exterior of his vehicle brought him back to the present, making him realize that he was, in fact, daydreaming about his roommate. Like a  _ lovesick fool _ . 

Seonghwa pinches the bridge of his nose, heart dancing anxiously inside the fissure of his open chest. 

Hongjoong opens the door and seems to notice the other’s predicament, because he stops and stares with his beautiful hazel irises with innocent wide eyes. 

“Seonghwa? Are you okay? Are you too tired—You could have told me, if you’re too tired.”

Seonghwa shakes his head and makes a shooing motion with his right hand towards him—because that is frankly quite ridiculous. He’s not really tired. He’s just panicking. 

_ Massively _ . 

But Hongjoong won’t ever know that. He’s going to keep that to himself.  _ Forever.  _

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’ve woken up far earlier than that for classes, Hongjoong. I’m fine—I’m just wondering about… _ things _ .”

Hongjoong hums as the sentence leaves Seonghwa’s pursed lips, cocking an eyebrow at him as he opens the door and climbs inside his car. 

Without wasting any time, the black haired man does the same with a shaky exhale. 

Seonghwa starts the engine after glancing at his watch, telling him that they have enough time to get to college before Hongjoong’s forsaken  _ exam _ . 

The latter puts his backpack in the backseat, before fastening his belt and smiling at Seonghwa. 

And he’s perfectly  _ fine _ . 

But Seonghwa isn’t. 

He’s fucking sweating like a pig, and  _ more _ stressed for this whole thing than Hongjoong is. 

As his mind keeps conjuring scenarios then result in failures, Seonghwa feels a soft, gentle touch on his forearm—it prompts him to turn his head towards the source of his sincere affection, eyes wide. 

Hongjoong smiles, the Friday glow of the sun reflecting itself into his snow colored hair, which gives him a gorgeous halo that framed his visage perfectly. 

Seonghwa momentarily stops breathing for a few seconds, in complete awe of how absolutely beautiful he looks like this, smiling inside of his car. 

“Easy, tiger. You’re not the one taking an exam,  _ I am _ . Calm down, Seonghwa.” 

Seonghwa lets out a barely audible chuckle filled with halfhearted panic, squeezing the wheel of his vehicle in between his sweaty fingers. 

Exhaling through his nose, he gets out of the dorm’s parking lot and rolls onto the road—towards the start of Hongjoong’s dearest dream. 

They keep the conversation light and airy, to keep Hongjoong’s quiet stress under wraps, because even if he’s not showing it like Seonghwa does most of the time—he still feels something, whether it's pure excitement or nerves. 

Seonghwa makes Hongjoong laugh on purpose, because he’s a slightly selfish man who likes to listen to the other giggle whenever he pleases, he wish he could just…record him and play the tape over and over again—because he looks and sounds like the sunshine on a sunny day of spring or summer, after the snow melts to give the spotlight to blooming blossom or chirping birds. 

He’s straight up  _ art _ . 

There’s something hypnotizing about the way Hongjoong holds himself, with elegance and uncertainty, the way his eyes melt with galaxies shining inside of them like gems, his tiny nose that makes Seonghwa want to boop it most of the time, his perfectly shaped lips that are slightly covered in gloss—like right now—and he’s smitten completely. 

Seonghwa is utterly and incredibly in love with Hongjoong. 

The elder turns into the college’s parking lot after shaking himself out of his reverie, stopping the car once he’s in a spot near the main entrance. 

He stops the motor and watches Hongjoong silently, heart roaring to life in his chest—his affection for him has no limits. 

“This is it,” Seonghwa trails out after a short moment of silence.

Hongjoong doesn’t reply, only nods with his lips thinned in a line. 

“Wish me good luck.” 

His voice is raspy and bright at the same time, and it makes Seonghwa’s heart flutter in his ribcage. 

The black haired boy nods, a smile blooming on his lips. 

He’s waiting for his roommate to get out of his car and walk towards the entrance—

But he’s not  _ moving _ . 

He’s staying perfectly still, staring at Seonghwa.

The latter tilts his head, wondering if Hongjoong forgot something at home or if he left the stove on and  _ turning— _

Hongjoong takes a hold of the elder’s hand, his small one oddly fitting in his own like pieces of a puzzle. 

“Is everything o-okay, Hongjoong?” 

Seonghwa wants to slap himself due to the stutter in his voice and the instant red of his cheeks. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Hongjoong replies, a smile curling on his lips. 

Then, slowly but surely, Hongjoong raises his hands and uses them to cup Seonghwa's burning cheeks and maps his entire face with his bright hazel orbs that held an entire galaxy. 

“What are you…doing?” 

The smaller student doesn’t answer, biting his lips as he continues to stare at his face. 

Then, Seonghwa sees a flicker of something in his eyes—something like bravery, or  _ courage _ . 

Hongjoong leans into his space, and renders the elder completely speechless—and Seonghwa can’t even speak due to his own shock. 

Hongjoong drops a light, feather kiss on his right cheek—then his left, then finishes by dropping a trail of kisses to the corner of his mouth, but never grazing his lips in the process. 

Seonghwa already knows that he wants more. But it’s the only thing close to a kiss he will ever get, to respect the other’s boundaries. 

If being kissed by Hongjoong feels like this, liberating and enchanting, then so be it. He will wait an entire life for him to kiss him like this again. 

Hongjoong then leans back on his elbows, his back touching the front seat, eyes still set on Seonghwa’s face—waiting for a reaction. 

And Seonghwa—

He’s standing still, eyes wide open and mouth lolled open like a blob fish—not knowing how to exactly react to the fact that Hongjoong kissed him  _ more _ than four times. 

“What just happened.” 

That gathers a cackle out of Hongjoong, who looks absolutely adorable beside him, dust settling on his blushing cheeks. 

Then, Hongjoong straightens himself and exhales through his mouth, before opening the door and going out of the car, putting his backpack on. 

Seonghwa can only silently gape at him.

“Now the ball is in your court,  _ tiger _ .”

And with that, he winks at him and leaves for the main door—leaving Seonghwa in a puddle. 

As soon as he doesn’t see his friend’s silhouette by the door, he freaks out and squeals as loud as he manages inside his car, the windows muting the sound— _ hopefully _ . 

He leans his head on the wheel, and smiles so wide his cheeks hurt from the gesture. 

Then, Seonghwa has an urge to just tell him—tell him before he goes to class. 

He briefly wonders if what Hongjoong might feel isn’t more than platonic, but the thought soon goes out the window, because he kissed him. It has to mean  _ something _ . 

He might not fully like him like a crush, maybe like an infatuation or soon-to-like—and Seonghwa respects that wholeheartedly. 

But there’s something that goes more between them than between two friends,  _ two people. _

And he wants to fully explore this—with him. 

So, he takes out his cellphone and dials his number as fast as his fingertips let him—and he puts the device to his ear, waiting for him to pick up. 

And when he  _ does _ , he giggles into the receiver— and he hears Hongjoong do the same. 

“Hey, big man.” His voice is soothing, so calm and Seonghwa’s heart is nearly drowning the sound Hongjoong makes on the other side of the line because of how fast it’s beating. 

“Do you want to hang out this weekend?” 

Hongjoong giggles and replies, “you already asked me that yesterday, dummy.” 

“I know, but I’m asking it differently.” 

The boy hums,  _ very _ interested. 

“Oh really?” 

Seonghwa nods and remembers Hongjoong can’t see him. 

“Yeah. It’s a date, if you want.” 

Hongjoong hums once more, as if he was truly thinking about it,  _ considering _ it. 

“I’d be happy to go on that date with you.” 

That sentence was enough to prevent him from having some shut-eye for the rest of the morning. 

Because he has a date with  _ Kim Fucking Hongjoong _ , the person who was constantly on his mind and inside his heart, and the holder of his romantic soul. 


End file.
